A Toy Story

About a week ago, daddy declared that I didn't have enough toys which stimulated me. He said that my blocks, stuffed animals, squeeky toys, etc..., weren't nearly enough for my massive brain, so mommy was sent in search of some things. She came home with some lovely Leap Frog maraccas, which teach me how to count, about colors and music, in both English and Spanish. A little later, she came home with a stuffed singing tadpole, which teaches me how to clap, about hands and feet, how to dance, say my ABCs, and learn about my head, shoulders, knees, and toes (knees and toes). Mommy says Mr. Tadpole has a very irritating voice, but she will suffer in silence for the sake of my learning. The thing is, I like these toys alright, but you know what my favorite toys are?

Boxes.

And blankets.
And drawers I'm not supposed to get into.
And pieces of furniture where I can hide.
And wooden spoons and tupperware containers.
And I can still learn in two languages with these toys. Here I am saying I love beer:
And here I am saying Yo quiero cerveza.
See, I'm bilingual. And you know how much all these "toys" cost? Nothing. Which is a lot less than what Mr. Tadpole and maraccas cost. You see, mommy and daddy are what we in the biz call suckas. Quick to go out and spend all sorts of money on high end toys in an effort to make me smarter. But this box teaches me about peek a boo,
which lets me know that things still exist, even when you can't see them. And I can put things in them and pull them out.
And this drawer,
it helps me learn how to open and close, and also strengthen my arms.
And this paper towel roll,
well, it's just cool.
and it tastes good.
And the spoon and tupperware,
it teaches me about music and rhythm, and headaches.

See, all I needed was right here at home. Silly mommy and daddy. Obviously their brains need some stimulation.