Sumo Wrestler feeling lousy

Hi. It's been a rough day. Today I went to the doctor for my 2 month check up. I weighed in at 14 lbs 3 oz., 23 3/4 inches long, with a head circumference of 39 inches. My weight is in the 95th percentile, my length in the 85th, but surprisingly my head is only in the 25th. Mommy thinks there is something wrong with that data. Dr. Tribou was very impressed with me today. He first commented on my girth and how I resembled a sumo wrestler, and called me "Sir Thomas of the many chins." He then said that the hope is that a baby will double his birth weight by 4 months. I however, have almost accomplished that at 2 months. Obviously breastfeeding is not a problem. I showed him my tricks: lifting my head, turning my head from side to side, and social smiling. Everyone was very impressed.

Then, suddenly, and without provocation, they all turned on me. Everything was fine. I was performing well. Everyone was pleased with my progress. So I don't really understand why the nice looking nurse had to come and stick me three times in the leg. First she lulled me into trusting her by giving me this sweet tasting liquid. It tasted like my vitamins, and you all know how much I like to eat, so I didn't resist. But then, out of nowhere she just started jabbing me, over and over and over again. Well, I don't think I need to tell you that this didn't sit well with me. Since then I've been pretty uncomfortable. All I want right now is for mommy to hold me. Even though she was in on this torture, I'll forgive her because she provides the food. But, she'll pay tonight. I've already decided that I won't be sleeping well. Maybe she'll think twice about scheduling that 4 month appointment.